Would Anyone Know You Follow Jesus?

"By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another." — John 13:35

Let me ask you an honest question. Not a guilt-trip question. Not a shame-inducing question. Just an honest one.

If someone watched your life this past week—how you talked to your spouse, how you responded to that frustrating email, how you treated the slow cashier at the grocery store, what you posted online—would they have any idea you follow Jesus?

I'm asking because I've had to ask myself the same thing. And sometimes the answer makes me uncomfortable.

The Night Jesus Said This

To really understand what Jesus meant in John 13:35, we need to look at when and where He said it.

This wasn't a casual teaching moment. Jesus spoke these words on the night before His crucifixion. He knew what was coming. He knew Judas would betray Him. He knew Peter would deny Him. He knew His closest friends would scatter when things got hard.

And in the middle of all of that—knowing the cross was hours away—Jesus chose to talk about love.

Not just talk about it. He demonstrated it first.

John 13 opens with Jesus washing His disciples' feet. This was the job of the lowest servant in a household. Dusty, dirty feet from walking unpaved roads in sandals. And Jesus, the Son of God, knelt down and washed them.

Then He said something that should stop us in our tracks: "If I then, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also ought to wash one another's feet. For I have given you an example, that you also should do just as I have done to you" (John 13:14-15).

Jesus gave them a picture of what love looks like before He commanded them to practice it.

A New Kind of Commandment

A few verses later, Jesus says: "A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another" (John 13:34).

Wait. Wasn't loving others already a commandment? Leviticus 19:18 says to love your neighbor as yourself. That's not new.

So what's new about this?

The standard changed.

The old commandment said love your neighbor as yourself. The new commandment says love one another as I have loved you.

Think about the difference. Loving someone as you love yourself sets the bar at your own self-interest. But loving someone the way Jesus loved? That's a completely different measuring stick.

How did Jesus love His disciples? He served them when they should have served Him. He was patient when they were clueless. He forgave Peter before Peter even failed. He washed the feet of Judas, knowing Judas would betray Him that very night.

That's the standard we're called to.

The World Is Watching

Here's what hits me about John 13:35: Jesus says that love for one another is how "all people" will know we're His followers.

Not our church attendance. Not our theological correctness. Not how loudly we proclaim our beliefs. Not our political positions. Not our bumper stickers or social media bios.

Love.

The world doesn't evaluate Christians by our doctrinal statements. They evaluate us by how we treat people.

And if we're honest? Sometimes we're not doing so well.

I've seen Christians tear each other apart online over secondary issues while the watching world wonders why they'd ever want any part of that. I've watched believers treat waiters rudely, speak to customer service representatives with contempt, and gossip about fellow church members—all in the same week they sang worship songs about God's amazing grace.

I've done some of those things myself. That's what makes this so uncomfortable.

The world is watching. And Jesus said our love would be the evidence.

What This Love Actually Looks Like

So what does this love look like in everyday life? Let's look at how Scripture describes it.

Paul gives us a detailed picture in 1 Corinthians 13:4-7: "Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things."

Read that list slowly. Now think about your week.

Were you patient with the person who cut you off in traffic? Were you kind to your kids when they asked you the same question for the tenth time? Did you insist on your own way in that disagreement with your spouse? Were you irritable with your coworker? Resentful toward someone who wronged you?

This is where love gets practical. It's not a feeling. It's a choice. A hundred small choices every single day.

And here's the thing—this kind of love isn't natural. It's supernatural. It only comes from being connected to Jesus. As He said in John 15:5, "Apart from me you can do nothing."

We can't white-knuckle our way into loving like Jesus loved. We need His Spirit working in us.

The Difference Between Love and Agreement

I want to be careful here because our culture often confuses love with agreement.

Loving someone doesn't mean you agree with everything they do. Jesus didn't. He loved people while also calling them to repentance. He was kind and truthful at the same time.

But here's what I've noticed: Many of us are pretty good at the "truth" part and not so good at the "love" part. We think being right is the same as being loving. It's not.

You can be doctrinally correct and relationally cruel. You can win every argument and lose every opportunity to show someone the heart of Jesus.

Paul wrote in Ephesians 4:15 that we should speak "the truth in love." Both matter. Truth without love is harsh. Love without truth isn't really love at all. But if we had to err on one side, I think Jesus showed us which direction to lean.

When the Pharisees brought Him a woman caught in adultery, He didn't ignore her sin. But He also didn't pile on shame. He protected her dignity, offered her grace, and then called her to a better way: "Go, and from now on sin no more" (John 8:11).

That's the balance we're aiming for.

Why This Is So Hard

Let's be honest about why loving like Jesus is so difficult.

It's hard because people are annoying. They're inconsiderate. They hurt us. They cut us off in traffic and talk too loud on their phones and say insensitive things and make mistakes that affect our lives.

It's hard because we're tired. We're stressed. We're running on empty, and we don't have emotional reserves left over for patience and kindness.

It's hard because we're selfish. Our natural bent is toward self-protection, self-promotion, and self-interest. Laying down our preferences for someone else goes against every instinct we have.

But here's what I keep coming back to: Jesus knew all of that when He gave the command. He knows we can't do it on our own. That's why He sent the Holy Spirit.

Galatians 5:22-23 tells us that love is the first fruit of the Spirit's work in our lives: "But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control."

Notice that love leads the list. And notice that patience and kindness—the very things we struggle with most—are part of what the Spirit produces in us.

We don't manufacture this love through effort. We receive it as we stay connected to Jesus and let His Spirit transform us from the inside out.

A Practical Starting Point

If you're feeling convicted right now (I am too), let me offer a practical starting point.

Pick one relationship this week. Just one. Maybe it's your spouse. Maybe it's a difficult coworker. Maybe it's a family member who drives you crazy.

Ask yourself: How would Jesus love this person?

Then ask the Holy Spirit to help you do that. Not in your own strength. In His.

It might mean holding your tongue when you want to snap back. It might mean serving when you'd rather be served. It might mean forgiving when you'd rather hold a grudge. It might mean being patient when everything in you wants to explode.

Start small. One person. One week. One choice at a time.

The Reputation of Jesus Is at Stake

I want to leave you with this thought.

Every time we interact with another person—believer or unbeliever—we're either confirming or contradicting what we claim to believe. Our love (or lack of it) either points people toward Jesus or pushes them away.

That's a heavy responsibility. But it's also an incredible opportunity.

What if the way you treated people this week actually made someone curious about your faith? What if your patience in a frustrating situation, your kindness to someone who didn't deserve it, your forgiveness toward someone who hurt you—what if that became the reason someone wanted to know more about Jesus?

That's what Jesus was talking about. That's the power of love as evidence.

"By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another."

So here's my question again, and I'm asking it to myself as much as to you:

If someone looked at your life this week, would they know you follow Jesus?

Let's ask the Spirit to help us live in a way that makes the answer yes.